yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I think people are normalizing furries
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
