He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
