I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
this beer tastes like vomit already
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
