Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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