Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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