Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
worst night to have a conscience
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
