Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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