Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
