Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
