his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
