Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
