I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
