If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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