hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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