At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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