All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
