Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
