The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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