What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
