Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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