How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
