you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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