I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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