So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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