Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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