Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
