we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
