I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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