I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
