It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I love you. Go after that dick
dude. I can hear the air.
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