Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
