he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
