She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
im on a boat
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