The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
The struggles of a small town man whore
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
