did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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