I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
