I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Randomize
