in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
