Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
