wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
