he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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