the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
