Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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