i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize