i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
