When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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