all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
