yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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