He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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