tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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