Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
