you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
