She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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