dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
