THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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