how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
